Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
