I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
