i jhust puked up my retainher.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
