It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
