something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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