i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
