And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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