I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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