Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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