I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize