You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
In other news, I just burned my penis
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
