apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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