the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
two words: eviction party
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
