I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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