Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Did you just see the Batmobile???
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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