u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
