All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Couch. On fire.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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