doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
