So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
