OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
