so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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