Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
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