Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
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