Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
