the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
We left the knife in your bed.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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