hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
