how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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