i love accidental penises.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
