I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
