you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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