shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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