Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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