..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
