You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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