I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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