He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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