you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
