ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
is that a dick in a sweater?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
