Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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