let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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