if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
