What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
