Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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