OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
