So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize