could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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