think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
