You really coming over, don't trick.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
