so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
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