WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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