i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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