You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Randomize
