SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
