She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize