Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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