Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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