He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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