the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
